How to Handle a Wedding Guest Who Adds an Uninvited Plus-One

How to Handle Guests Who RSVP With a Plus-One You Didn’t Invite

It’s one of the most common etiquette issues couples face during the wedding planning process: A guest receives a solo invitation, yet responds with a plus-one anyway. Whether it’s an honest misunderstanding or a deliberate choice, navigating this awkward situation can be stressful. You might be wondering, “Didn’t we make it clear they weren’t allowed a guest?”

If you find yourself in this position, don’t panic. It’s more common than you think—and there are graceful ways to address it. Below, we break down why this happens, how to respond, and what to consider before deciding how to move forward.

Why Do Guests RSVP With an Uninvited Plus-One?

There are typically two reasons:

• They don’t understand wedding etiquette. Some guests genuinely don’t know that a wedding invitation addressed solely to them means the invitation is just for them.

• They assume everyone gets a plus-one. Especially for single guests, it’s common to assume they can bring a date unless explicitly told otherwise.

Whatever the reason, it puts you in a tricky position—especially if you’re working with a tight budget or limited venue capacity.

Three Ways to Handle an Uninvited Plus-One

Option 1: Say Nothing and Allow the Plus-One

This is the most conflict-free option. If you’d rather avoid an uncomfortable phone call or risking hurt feelings, you can choose to accommodate the extra guest. Doing so keeps things smooth with the guest who added the plus-one, but it can lead to other complications:

• Fairness: Other guests who weren’t allowed a plus-one might feel slighted if they find out.

• Budget strain: Even one or two unexpected guests can add costs (meals, place settings, favors, etc.).

• Guest experience: You might end up with several people you don’t know attending your intimate celebration.

When to consider this: You have a bit of budget and space flexibility, and keeping the peace outweighs enforcing a strict guest list.

Option 2: Kindly Say No

If your guest list is capped or you’re strictly adhering to your invitation list, it’s absolutely okay to say no to the plus-one. Here’s how to approach it:

1. Pick up the phone. This is a conversation best handled with warmth and clarity—voice-to-voice is more personal than text or email.

2. Be kind, but firm. Thank them for their RSVP and excitement, and let them know you’re truly looking forward to seeing them. Then say something like:

“We’re so happy you can make it! Unfortunately, due to budget and space constraints, we had to limit our guest list. We’re not able to accommodate plus-ones unless they’re a spouse or long-term partner, and we hope you understand.”

3. Leave the door open. End the conversation on a warm note by saying you sincerely hope they can still attend and be part of the celebration.

When to consider this: Your guest list is tight, your venue has limited space, or allowing one plus-one could create a domino effect with others.

Option 3: Reevaluate and Extend Plus-Ones to Other Singles

If the issue has made you realize that several guests might want to bring a companion—and you have the space and budget to accommodate them—you could decide to open up the guest list to plus-ones.

But proceed with caution:

• You should apply this rule across the board for fairness.

• Make sure it won’t cause a significant impact on your costs or seating chart.

• Understand that more unfamiliar faces may show up at your wedding.

When to consider this: You don’t mind a slightly larger guest count, your venue can handle it, and you’re okay with having a few guests you may not know personally.

Final Thoughts

This kind of situation is common, and while it can feel uncomfortable to navigate, it’s completely within your right as the couple to set boundaries. Whether you choose to say yes or no, the key is to handle it with kindness, clarity, and consistency.

Remember: Your wedding is about celebrating your love with the people closest to you. It’s okay to be selective about who those people are. Stay gracious, stay calm—and keep your eyes on the bigger picture.